wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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