you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize