You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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