i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
