lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
