you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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