I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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