Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
