so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Randomize
