guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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