so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
