Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
