a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize