4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she told me i tasted like america
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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