Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
nutella sex= disaster
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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