So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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