I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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