I wish I could punch you in the face.
Buhtt sex?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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