dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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