i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
