I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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