Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
please come you make the beer taste better
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
