Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize