so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
