just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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