Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
