the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize