Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
