i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
