Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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