OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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