Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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