2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
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I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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