We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize