So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
