have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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