i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
They took my balls.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize