this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
