3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
