so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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