I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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