I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
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So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.