I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
