Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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