Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
