i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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