Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
