don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize