Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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