Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
