I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize