All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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