No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
