i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
