so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
