I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
