You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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