Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i want to swaddle you in tequila
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
