Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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