I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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